The untold side stories of the vampire academy series
by Hathzur
Summary: Exactly what the tittle says
1. The Forgotten Story

**First of HAPPY LATE HOLIDAYS** **a little background on myself I'm in the Philippines so I'm about 16 hours ahead for those who are in the pacific and I have a busy schedule most of the time. I'm working on both this one the alternative choices one so just a bit more of time i'm almost done with the third chapter. So then on with the story.** **Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy**

Dribble 1: The forgotten story

"Come on Rose. Please? You know dad would never approve if you don't come with me." Lissa Dragomir was pleading to her best friend for the ten thousand time that day.

She wanted to go to a party that she was invited by her brother Andre.. Now under normal circumstances Rose Hathaway would jump at the first chance she got to go to a party except for this occasion. Now the problem was that she has been hiding one tiny little secret from her. One that include her best friend's brother, and on that day they had a fight one that turned out to be making them act distant to each other.

" I already told you Liss I'm not going. I don't feel good to be going outside." Rose said with exasperation in her voice.

"Oh come on Rose is this all because you had a fight with my brother? " The princess asked.

Rose stayed quiet seeing that she couldn't answer honestly.

 _"Rose when_ _are_ _you going to realize that you have feelings for me?You can't escape it." He pulled her towards him wrapping his arms around her waist. She instantly pulled away. Andre had found her after school in an empty hallway after she deliberately avoided him throught the day._

" _No it's you that_ _doesn't understand what it would mean for us to be together. My future as your sister's Guardian. I can't ri--"_

 _She was cut off when Andre kissed her with all his strength. Now Rose had enough strength to pull away but she took a moment to be honest to herself she liked it. She liked the way it made her feel and how her heart beats faster than running around._

I _t goes without saying that she was kissing him back._

 _It was more than that she pulled herself to him and pressed her body to his. In the middle of the all consuming kiss somewhere within her head she knew that this was wrong that he was a royal moroi, but most importantly he has a girlfriend and that is a territory that she was not willing to step in to._ _She abruptly pulled away and on instinct she slapped him. Now the slap wasn't that hard but for a Moroi that is more sensitive to the pain well you could imagine how painful it was. Even though she was holding back most of her strength."Listen to me once and for all don't you ever kiss me again don't come anywhere near me and get it through your head I can't have a relationship with you. One you're a royal two I'm going to be your sister's Guardian, and three for hell's sake you have a girlfriend.I am_ _not getting into a fight because you were stupid enough to be kissing other girls." She left him there standing shell shocked mostly from the slap.It has been two weeks since that day._

In truth she missed him so much. She wanted to hold him again and kiss him but she also had to set him straight she had to--

"Rose? Rose! Are you even listening to me?" The moroi girl asked in astonishment.

" I am Liss and thats the problem that Im listening and you are not"

"Come on Rose. There is going to be many people and what's the possibility for Andre to find you? Please?"

"Lissa don't I already told you I'm not going."

Two Hours later...

As they were arriving to the party in the forest a few miles away from the Dragomir house. The novice asked her moroi once more. "Why am I here Liss?" She just pointed at a group of moroi guys where Andre was with his girlfriend and a bottle of beer.

The kiss came back to Rose and at the same time he met her gaze. For a moment it was just them.

That was untill he gave her a grin, and in return he received a Hathaway glare which only caused his grin to grow.

The damphir girl turned to her friend and sarcastically asked.

"What was the possibility again?"

The princess only shook her head.

Hours had gone by when someone from behind spoke.

"What are you doing here?" The startled novice spinned around with her gun aiming and safety off.

Once she was able to see that it was a moroi she relaxed a bit. she placed the safety back on and put It away.

"What are _you_ doing here?" the novice asked the moroi guy.

when he stepped in to the light the damphir saw the very person she was avoiding.

"Come on Rose no one is here."

" I told you already th-" she was once again cut off with a kiss very similar to what happened two weeks before. This time she gave in she couldn't hold back any longer, and after they broke apart he began to talk.

" I need to tell you something. I want to be with you. I feel that I can change when I'm with you. You make me want to be better I need you with me. Rosie please. I... I'm done fooling around with girls that only see me as some way to gain status. I need to have someone that sees me for who I am Rose. I need you." Hathaway was stunned by the way he was speaking to her. Stunned of how serious he was talking.

She wrapped her arms around the moroi's neck and kissed him one more time before pulling away.

"I need you too Andry, but not with your ass half drunk.." Before the moroi could complain Hathaway

leaned in one more time for another breathless kiss.

She pulled back once more and continued talking.

" I need you to tell me all of this when your sober enough to remember what you said. okay?"

She spoke to him in a gentle voice as if scared that he would get upset.

The Dragomir moroi agreed with a goofy grin and a last sloppy kiss. He walked back to his circle of friends. Meanwhile Rose Hathaway was keeping an eye on both her best friend (which by the way she was sucking faces with that blond idiot of a boyfriend) and on her possibly boyfriend with a small smile of her own.

Five Hours Later...

The Dragomir siblings were still surrounded by each of their circle of friends and she was about to tell them that it was time to leave when suddenly someone taped her shoulder.

on instinct she elbowed the person behind her and pushed said person and once again took her gun out along with the safety and aimed at the same time. immediately the figure held his hands in the air in form of truce.

When the novice was able to see that it was a guardian she relaxed and placed the safety back on and put it away.

"Sorry Guardian I didn't mean to aim or hurt you." She said lamely.

She was too distracted by the looks of the guy in front of her tall brown eyes and shaggy brown hair.

Let's not forget that amazing body that's most guardians get from years of work out. He looked real young like early twenties.

" it's alright you got a pretty good reaction, and your quick with that gun." He praised her

"Umm thanks. The gun is actually..."

They spoke for two more hours Untill it was time to leave.

Not knowing that years later they were going to meet again.

Three years later

"Rose. babe it's time to go."

"No. Leave me alone"

"come on Rosie wake up baby"

"Andry if you don't back off I'm going to kick your ass, and no I don't care that you are a moroi, royal or even my boyfriend so back off" She said pushing him off the bed to make her point.

At this he just laughed it off knowing that he would have a bruise later on.

"Fine but don't start killing if you don't get any chocolate donut" he said trying to black mail the damphir

Hathaway heard the door being closed and locked when she opened her eyes she saw that Andre was still there before she could react He was on top of her giving her a very lingering good morning kiss.

"'Morning baby girl." the 18 year old boyfriend said.

" I'll pretend that I didn't hear you calling me baby, because that was such a great kiss." she answered giving him another kiss.

"Rose Andre hurry up were going to be late!" Rose pulled back from the kiss, but Andre wasn't having none of that.

"Andre your mom is calling and I have to change" she said Struggling to break free.

Andre kept kissing her neck while his hands were stubbornly placed on her hips trying to him her down.

"Andre hurry up" Rhea's voice was getting closer.

That made them both freeze. At that Rose was able to sit up and push him off the bed again.

"Rose hurry up we can't be late again." Rhea's voice was alot more closer

" Rose? " she called

" I'm up. I'm looking for my shoes" Hathaway called out.

"Alright breakfast is on the table. Try to wake Andre from me. Okay?"

"Sure thing Rhea." Once the fifteen year old damphir heard her leave she quickly got up and went to change and finish packing.

She totally ignored her boyfriend that now was sitting on the edge of her bed.

" Make sure you take an extra blanket in case we have a little escapade once we get to the lake house."

She turned around giving him a seductive smile while approaching him.

"Oh and where are we going to go?"

she asked just as she was hovering over him. She could clearly hear his uneven breath and a gulp.

"Well that depends of you behave yourself." he said without giving in to the temptation.

"But first I want to giv--" he was cut off by her sister's voice

"Hathaway if you are not down in 5 minutes I'm going to drag you myself."

The damphir grabbed her bag and everything and dropped it on the hallway of her room as a way of answer that she was ready.

She reluctantly kicked her boyfriend out of her room and went down stairs to eat her breakfas.

Their usual routine was made up of eating exchanging plans for the trip and the bantering between the Dragomir siblings and the damphir.

Once Hathaway finished with her breakfast or rather "inhaled" it according to her best friend. She went to get her spot on the window side. She was putting away a few things in her luggage that she forgot in her room when she felt a pair of arms on her waist along with a few kisses on her neck.

" Andre stop your parents are going to see us." she said giggling. She turned herself facing him.

" At this point I really don't care what anyone thinks." he said in a very sexy voice.

she wrapped her arms around his waist leaning in for another kiss.

" I want to give you something before we go." he said giving her yet another kiss

"oh what is it?"

He pulled out a necklace with the infinity symbol dangling from the center.

Once he placed it on her neck they she gave him a deep passionate kiss that left them breathless.

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too." they whispered to each other knowing that they would never really be able to say it out loud.

" Dad told me to give it to the girl that inspired me to be better, and that girl is you." he said in a rare sweet voice that she would only hear from time to time.

"You know your dad is going to flip out when he sees me wearing it." she said with a grin on her face but deep down inside she was worried.

"Well he did say a girl he never specified weather she was human damphir or moroi." he said leaning in once more for another kiss.

They gave each other the one last breathless kiss before separating from each other at the sound of the rest of the Dragomir family.

Not knowing that it was going to be the last time that everyone was happy and together.

For the last time Rose and Andre looked at each other and mouthed

"I love you" before the car swayed by the snow and right into the tree.

 **I'm open to any suggestions or opinions or if you want to write about your favorite part of the books.**


	2. Nightmares

**First of I'm extremely sorry for been MIA, but I'm back.** **Disclaimer I don't own Vampire Academy**

POV: Rose

 _I can still save him. Dimitri. Dimitri! Please don't die on me._ _"He's dead and you are not about to join him." She slapped me_ _"Run!"_ _No! Dimitri¡ Dimitri!_ I felt a void inside of me one that i knew that it's not going to go away in a long time. Each time threatning

me to be swallow by it. It was getting worse each night. Just the mear thaught that i coulve done something to save him to pervent from him getting turned. Once again the heart clenching world crashing started to shake me praticly waking me up.

"Rose." I can hear him whispering my name, but I dont see him.

"Dimitri" i called out to him but i cant see him.

"Rose" I heard him again but this time his voice a bit louder.

each time was louder almost as a shout. His voice was closer to me but i couldnt see him. i was getting very fustrating. i wanted to see him for him to tell me that he loves me.

"Roza!" His voice was faiding and morphing into a woman's voice.

"Dimi!" I called him out. No respons

"Dimi!!" I cried out his name but nothing. The female voice keept getting louder.

Alberta?

Mom?

Nina?

Nina!!!

"Nina"

"I'm here Roza"

my flew open only to see his eyes in someone else body.

Her arms wrapped around with tears in her eyes.

I startes gasping for air hugging her just as tight as if she would save me from my drowning feelings.

"I know, I understand"

"Nina He's gone! He's not coming back for me."

We sat there hugging each other crying on eachothers shoulder.

POV: Karolina

Zoya fell asleep after Roza played with her all day long. Having Rose here with us was great the house lasted clean much longer. With her taking care of Zoya gave me more time to do other things. there were also other moments where it would seem that we are torturing her.

From time to time we could be saying something or giving her a look or a simple habit and she would get this heart crushing look ,and she would run off to who knows where. When she comes back it's with swollen eyes from crying for him.

The last time I saw her like this was just a few days ago... no that's not right. The last time I saw her like this was years ago, but I doubt that she remembers or does she?

I don't know how long I was asleep, but I woke up all of a sudden. At first I thought it was Zoya, but when I look at her she was still asleep. I followed the noise, but I wasn't prepared to see this.

My mother trying to wake Roza up.

Roza trashing in her sleep calling out.

"Dimi" she begged

"Come on Roza wake up" My mother also begging

I was stunned of how much my brother's death has actually affected her.

"Dimi! come back please!! "

I don't know what was the worst part? The fact that she was giving the mist or the fact that history is repeating itself again with her once more calling out for a man that will never come back for her, or the fact that she remembers despite her memories been erased with compulsion.

"Dimi!! " She cried once again

"ROZA!!" my mother gave her one last shove.

"Nina" she breathed

"I'm here Roza"

She finally woke up and clinged to her

"I know I understand" she tried to contained herself but it was useless.

"Nina he's gone!! He's not coming back for me."

That's when they both lost it they cried on each others shoulders.

I left I couldn't take it anymore I picked up Zoya and took her to bed with me and I cried for her for him for a lost love that will never be able to bring it back to life.

 **Sorry I was feeling down and when I do I happen to wright depressing thing, but I'm good now, and once again tell me about your favorite pet of the VA, and I'll write something.**


	3. Keeping Secrets

**Disclaimer I don't own Vampire Academy. Also I need to see more reviews and suggestions about your favorite Scenes from the Book series**. my email is: magana_giselle@yahoo send me your suggestions

 **POV: Christian**

Here I was walking all the way to the gym to get my girlfriend's best friend because she didn't have the time. So here I am when heard someone speaking loud enough even for me to listen to the crack of the doors I stopped and peeked inside.

"Okay, can you just stop this for once?"

Obviously it was Rose and it was typical of her to talk like that right before she starts throwing punches. What I didn't expect was Belikov to stay calm and not tell her something about her tone of voice.

"Stop what?" He asked genuinely surprised.

Who wouldn't be She can be friendly one minute and the next your about to get punched. I'm still debating on whether or not to save Belikov's face.

"The whole profound Zen crap thing. You don't talk to me like a real person. Everything you say is just some wise, life-lesson nonsense. You really do sound like a Christmas special."

On second thought I'm going to let him handle this one. He should really know better than to talk to her with logic. Poor guy I should probably be preparing the coffin.

"I swear, sometimes it's just like you want to hear yourself talk! And I know you're not always this way. You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha. But with me? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role."

She was shouting now, and not watching her tongue, and that is something to watch out for.

Wait is she jealous of my aunt?

Why should she?

"I don't care about you?" He asked stunned by the way she was talking

"No." She said

"I'm another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that- "

Really? Rose is being a little bit petty I've seen this man worry his ass of whenever she's in the clinic,

and She's standing here jabbing her finger onto his chest telling him that he doesn't care.

I feel I'm missing out something big and obvious.

Dimitri grabs her wrist and pins it onto the wall next to her.

"Don't tell me what I'm feeling," he growled.

Rose and I looked at him with surprise of his reaction, and then I saw Rose coming to a conclusion that make her look a bit smug. I got curious about it.

That's it, isn't it?" She asked.

"What?"

"You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me."

That was ridiculous how can an anti social man bee the same as Rose Hathaway

"No," he said, still obviously worked up.

"I've learned my control."

As he said that I saw the same conclusion as Rose did. He hasn't learned it!

How can she do that?

"No," She informed him.

"You haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't.

Yet again she was right I would see the Guardian from time to time loose his cool, but it always had to be Rose involved in some type of trouble.

And sometimes ..." She leaned forward, lowering her voice. (Almost not being able to hear

"Sometimes you don't want to."

"Rose..."

He pressed himself closer, trapping her between him and the wall. He kept holding her hand, but his other one snaked behind her head, sliding into her hair.

To say that I was stunned was an understatement. I mean...

WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKING AT?

FOR HELLS SAKE SHES SUCKING FACES WITH A 24 YEAR OLD DAMPHIR THAT IS HER MENTOR!!!

He was the one who broke it. He jerked away from her and took several steps back, looking shaken.

"Do not do that again," he said stiffly.

"Don't kiss me back then," She retorted.

He stared at her for a while.

"I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control."

THE HYPOCRISY WAS THICK!!!

"You're doing a great job," She said bitterly.

I don't know if to condemn him for leading her on or her for being so reckless or both for ACTING SO DAM STUPID!!!

He closed his eyes for half a second, exhaled, and muttered something in Russian. Without another glance at her , he turned and left the room.

I was about to burst through the doors fuming with so much anger when I saw her I stopped.

She sat on the floor and began crying. I've never really seen her cry before. I mean Lissa mention it a few months ago, but never like this.

Today I finally got my answer as to why guardians never go home with there family, and my answer was sitting right in front of me.

DAMIT I WANTED TO SCREAM I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING. THEY DONT GO HOME BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE ONE BECAUSE THEIR JOB NEVER LET THEM TO FALL IN LOVE AND WHEN THEY DO IT ENDS UP LIKE THIS. THE BEEN DROPPED OFF AT THE ACADEMY OR FALLING FOR THE WRONG PERSON!!!!!!

I FELT A HUGE FRUSTRATION!!!!

AHHHHH!!!!!

I layed my back on the wall and cried along with her Untill I heard her leave. I cleaned my face and pretended as if nothing happened, because that's what I was going to do keep her secret.

Later on that day I noticed that Rose was quite and knowing of what had happened I threw fries at her, and that started a whole new argument bringing that banter between us. For the rest of the day she kept a small smile on her face.

frostbite chapter 8

I would like to make some clarification

my story Her Love it was just a small story

I apologize for those who wanted a full story

My story Alternative Choices is in process I'm still working on the 3rd chapter

I'm glad that you guys are liking my stories seriously though I want your opinion and suggestions.

Review please. Thank you


	4. Special Gift

I was sitting down in the couch looking through the phone that Abe had given me filled with pictures that I had forgotten a bout.

Olena had to go buy the groceries. Karolina and Sonya are working. Yeva is... I don't know I just know she's not here. Paul and Viktoria are at school though they'll be coming for the weekend. As for Zoya she's at the day care.

I'm completely alone in the house which was fine by me I had more liberty to openly look at the pictures

There were pictures of me and Lissa along with her family

 _"Come on Rose let's take a picture"_

 _We were in front of the car and Lissa wanted to take a picture. In a very sneaky way Andre had his arm wrapped around my waist. If you were to pay close attention you could see that he was leaning closer to me. Now that I see the whole picture I can see the necklace that he gave me. One of their guardians took the picture._

That was the last picture of us together

I kept scrolling and stoped at one it was of me Mason, and Eddie laughing on the gym's floor. We were supposed to be doing our stretches but as usual we got distracted by who knows what. I mean we were just bunch of 10 year olds.

 _I was stretching when I got hit by a spit ball I looked back and I saw those idiots laughing so I did the worst thing. I moved to the back I grabbed the straw they had in there hands I took out a gum wrapper and threw it at Stan. It landed on his forehead_

 _I left everything at their feet and went back to my spot. When he turned around and saw Mason and Eddie laughing. Stan's face went bright red._

 _"Ashford! Castle! On the track now!"_

 _Their faces were priceless. I couldn't hold it in and I burst laughing which send everyone into fits of laughter._

 _Every time a guardian would come to get us back to work they ended up on the floor from laughing too hard. " Hathaway!!!"_

 _"Sure Jajajaja once hahahhahah I hahahaha stop hagaha laughing" I got up still laughing and I tripped over Mason and Eddie which made us laugh even more._

 _First time I got away from punishment._

As I kept scrolling I saw more and more pictures of me and my friends their was one that I found a picture of me sitting next to Dimitri and I was eating a Salad. Figures why I would be so willingly to eat it.

I found a picture of me and Dimitri. It was during the carnival. I remember because I was wearing all black and tight clothes he helped me get one of the most valuable items from the list. At this point in the picture it was when I was going to jump out of the window, beacouse I was getting chased by other guardians, but I had slipped he caught me.

 _My hands slipped on the window frame, in turn making me lose my balance. I fell over and down, but he caught me by the waist and he held on to me. I instinctively put my arms around his neck, pressing us together. I expected him to push me away, but he didn't... Something in his eyes softened as he looked down on me with an expression that held neither exasperation nor amusement his gaze smoldered. It hungered. It wrapped me up as fiercely as his arms did, and I became very, very aware of just how tight and thin my clothes were..._

It was one of those stolen moments that we shared. I don't know what should be shocking me the fact that I have a picture of that moment or the fact that Abe found it. Either way I'm glad I can see it now.

I found another picture of me and Dimitri and again I am shocked that someone was able to get a picture of us . It was in the gym. Instantly I recognize when it was. It was before the ski trip. I knew because you could see my black eye. The picture was of me and him kissing.

I kept scrolling and I saw pictures of the whole group during Christmas gathered. I saw pictures during the ski trip. Mostly of me and Mason on the slopes and ice skating.

I saw another picture of me and Dimitri sitting down looking at the sun. Of him wrapping me in his duster and his arms.

Pictures of me during the ceremony when I got the molnija tattoos.

The more I scrolled down the more I saw pictures of me ,Lissa , Christian, Eddie, and Adrian.

Pictures that took with Dimitri when I would think that he wasn't looking or him pretending to be annoyed.

At the end I saw pictures that I never thought I was going to see again it was me and Dimitri when we were in the cabin together. Nothing too explicit, but you could see the love and tenderness in his face.

The last one was of him holding me under the shadow of a tree.

 _He still looked shocked. "Why would you think that?"_

 _"Because that's how you are," I told him. I think I sounded a little hysterical. "You always want to do the right thing. And when you do the wrong thing, you then have to fix it and do the right thing. And I know you're going to say that what we did shouldn't have happened and that you wish - "_

 _The rest of what I might have said was smothered as Dimitri wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him in the shadow of a tree. Our lips met, and as we kissed, I forgot all about my worries and fears that he'd say what we'd done was a mistake. I even - as impossible as it seems - forgot about the death and destruction of the Strigoi. Just for a moment._

 _When we finally broke apart, he still kept me close to him. "I don't think what we did was wrong," he said softly. "I'm glad we did it. If we could go back in time, I'd do it again."_

 _A swirling feeling burned within my chest. "Really? What made you change your mind?"_

 _"Because you're hard to resist," he said, clearly amused at my surprise. "And ... do you remember what Rhonda said?"_

 _"Something about how you're going to lose something..." I apparently didn't remember it so well._

 _"'You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can.'"_

 _At first, I felt a surge of joy: I was what he valued most. Then I gave him a startled look. "Wait. You think I'm going to die? That's why you slept with me?"_

 _"No, no, of course not. I did what I did because ... believe me, it wasn't because of that. Regardless of the specifics - or if it's even true - she was right about how easily things can change. We try to do what's right, or rather, what others say is right. But sometimes, when that goes against who we are...you have to choose. Even before the Strigoi attack, as I watched all the problems you were struggling with, I realized how much you meant to me. It changed everything. I was worried about you - so, so worried. You have no idea. And it became useless to try to act like I could ever put any Moroi life above yours. It's not going to happen, no matter how wrong others say it is. And so I decided that's something I have to deal with. Once I made that decision ... there was nothing to hold us back." He hesitated, seeming to replay his words as he brushed my hair from my face. "Well, to hold me back. I'm speaking for myself. I don't mean to act like I know exactly why you did it."_

 _"I did it because I love you," I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was._

 _He laughed. "You can sum up in one sentence what it takes me a whole speech to get out."_

 _"Because it's that simple. I love you, and I don't want to keep pretending like I don't."_

 _"I don't either." His hand dropped from my face and found my hand. Fingers entwined, we began walking again. "I don't want any more lies."_

 _"Then what'll happen now? With us, I mean. Once all of this is done ... with the Strigoi..."_

 _"Well, as much as I hate to reinforce your fears, you were right about one thing. We can't be together again - for the rest of the school year, that is. We're going to have to keep our distance."_

 _I felt a little disappointed by this, but I knew with certainty he was right._

 _"After you graduate and are out with Lissa ..." He didn't finish. It took me a moment, but I realized what he was about to say. My heart nearly stopped._

 _"You're going to ask to be reassigned, aren't you? You won't be her guardian."_

 _"It's the only way we can be together."_

 _"But we won't actually be together," I pointed out._

 _"Well," I said, realizing something, "we might actually see more of each other if we're guarding different people. We can get time off together. If we were both with Lissa, we'd be swapping shifts and always be apart." ..._

 _After all this time, after all the heartache, Dimitri and I were going to make this work. There was always the possibility he could get assigned away from the Court, but even so, we'd still manage to get some time off together every once in a while. The time apart would be agony, but we would make it work. And it would be better than continuing to live a lie._

 _Dimitri and I didn't say anything else for a while. Like always, we didn't have to. I knew he was feeling the same happy buzz I was, despite that stoic exterior_

 _"I also have a feeling your mother's going to have a very ugly conversation with me."_

 _"You're about to face down Strigoi, and my mother's the one you're scared of?"_

 _I could see a smile playing at his lips. "She's a force to be reckoned with. Where do you think you got it from?"_

 _I laughed. "It's a wonder you bother with me then."_

 _"You're worth it, believe me."_

 _He kissed me again, using the last of the forest's shadows for cover..._

A gift he said a gift to give me strength, but how when I'm still so weak.

That was the last time I had him all to myself. It feels so long ago...

 **Olena pov**

I came home with Karo, Vika, Paul, and Zoya. I went into the living room only to see Roza on the couch curled up in a corner crying with her cellphone to her chest.

"Viaka take Paul and Zoya to the backyard"

"But mom" she started to protest but with a simple glare she left

"Karo get some tea"

"Roza. Roza honey it's alright it's going to get better"

I Hugged her against my chest as she kept crying.

After a few minutes she fell asleep. I took the phone away and saw what was making her so sad and I began to shed my own tears. It was all her happiness saved in all these pictures.

"Mom I can't keep pretending that I don't remember her crying for another man." Karo said

"No. We promised that we would never bring that up if it is this hard for her to cope imagine what it would do to her when she rememberes that first time she came. What if she remember that the last time she was here she also suffered."

"She'll be destroyed" she answered

" Then in that case let her have some pice of mind"

We both turned to see Sonya who just walked in.

"Karo take her upstairs and give her one of your brother's t shirt. Sonya get changed so that we can eat."

No one said anything else and we went on as if nothing happened but Karo was right it's hard to pretend as if we haven't known her since she was 4.

 **The part where it mentions Rise eating a salad that is not my idea I got it from someone else who I don't remember sorry. The second flashback it's from the latest of Richelle Mead from The Untold Stories: Hello My Name Is Rose Hathaway.**

 **The last flashback is from Shadow Kiss Cahpter 26 and yeah I cut off many parts.**

 **One more thing. This chapter is dedicated to Blood Promise**

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SOUL CRUSHING EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER BOOK!!!!!**

 **Ps 10 yrs anniversary**


	5. Hurts Like Hell

_"Miss Hathaway, what's the meaning of this?"_

 _"I'm leaving," I said. "Quitting. Dropping out. Whatever."_

 _"You can't do that," she said_.

 _"Well, obviously I can, since you guys keep withdrawal paperwork in the library. It's all filled out the way it needs to be."..._

 _"This wasn't hasty," I said. "I thought a lot about it."_

 _...I pointed to the line on the top form that said date of birth. "I'm eighteen today. She can't do anything anymore. This is my choice. Now, will you stamp the form, or are you actually going to try to restrain me? Pretty sure I could take you in a fight, Kirova."_

 _...I was no longer a student at St. Vladimir's Academy_.

How can I say this without breaking

How can I say this without taking over

 _"If I became Strigoi...I'd want someone to kill me."_

 _"So would I," he said quietly. I could tell that he'd had the same flash of realization I'd just had, that same sense of connection between us._

How can I put it down into words

When it's almost too much for my soul alone

 _I love you, Roza." He kissed me again. "I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."_

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _"Juliet had it easy she never had to kill Romeo"_

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _'You will lose what you value most..._

 _What you value most'_

 _I loved and I loved and I lost you_

 _It had been his soul._

And it hurts like hell

Yeah it hurts like hell

 _I set off, off to kill the man I loved._

I don't want them to know the secrets

 _"You're burned into my mind forever. There is nothing, nothing in this world that will ever change that."_

I don't want them to know the way I loved you

 _And I won't let anything happen to you," I promised. "I love you." He kissed me again, swallowing off any other words I might have added._

I don't think they'd understand it, no

 _"I have to do this, Liss. I have to do it for him.""No," she said firmly. "You don't have to. You didn't promise him anything.""Not in words, no. But you ... you don't understand."_

I don't think they would accept me, no

 _The others would eventually come looking for us to get my report, and if they found us like that, things would almost certainly get ugly._

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _"Mason, is Dimitri dead?"_

 _Mason shook his head._

 _"Is he alive?"_

 _Mason shook his head._

 _Neither alive nor dead..._

 _The next words stuck in my throat, and I sank to my knees as I spoke them._

 _"Is he ... is Dimitri a Strigoi?"_

 _Mason hesitated only a moment, like he was afraid to answer me, and then - he nodded._

 _My heart shattered. My world shattered._

 _You will lose what you value most..._

 _What you value most._

 _It had been his soul._

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _That's what I was supposed to say..."_

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _I had just stepped outside when she called my name. "Rose?"_

 _I caught the door and glanced back. "Yeah?"_

 _Alberta's face was gentle... something I'd never seen before. "I'm sorry," she said. "Sorry for everything that happened. And that none of us could do anything about it."_

 _I saw in her eyes then that she knew about Dimitri and me. ... Regardless, there was no chastisement in her face, only sincere sorrow and empathy._

And it hurts like hell

 _They want you to talk about Dimitri's last days," Viktoria said. "Tell us something. What he did. What he was like."_

Yeah it hurts like hell

 _I... I can't," I told Viktoria, my voice strained and soft. "I can't talk about him."_

Dreams fight with machines

Inside my head like adversaries

Come wrestle me free

Clean from the war

Your heart fits like a key

Into the lock on the wall

I turn it over, I turn it over

But I can't escape

I turn it over, I turn it over

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _Olena's eyes were on me, sweet and compassionate. "I know," she said, guessing my thoughts. "I know exactly how you feel."_

 _"Does it get easier?" I asked._

 _Unlike Sydney, Olena had an answer. "Yes. But you'll never be the same."_

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _"I'm sorry," I said, feeling on the verge of tears. Lissa. I had to get to Lissa. "This isn't real. You're gone. You and I can never be together, but I can still help her."_

 _"You love her more than me?"_

 _Lissa had asked me almost the same thing when I'd left to hunt Dimitri. My life was doomed to always be about choosing between them._

 _"I love you both," I replied._

I loved and I loved and I lost you

 _"Love Fades"_

And it hurts like hell

 _"Mine has"_

 **Hurts like Hell by Fleurie**

 **Vampire Academy Shadow Kiss Blood Promise Spirit Bound all of this belongs Richelle Mead**

 **Please like and review I'm trying to make it up to you guys ;)**

 **I'll keep making song fictions but if you want to share a song I'll work something out**


	6. Bittersweet

Disclaimer i don't own anything not the song nor the books...sigh

hope you enjoy:)

 **I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me**

"You're strong—you're so, so strong. It's why I love you."

 **I still feel your touch in my dreams**

"You're burned into my mind forever. There is nothing, nothing in this world that will ever change that."

 **Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why**

"I sighed and stared off without any particular focus. "I miss him so much."

 **Without you it's hard to survive**

"None of it seems real. Who knows? Maybe it isn't. Maybe it's actually happening to someone else. Maybe it's something I imagined. Maybe soon I'm going to wake up and find everything fixed with Lissa and Dimitri. We'll all be together, and he'll be there to smile and hold me and tell me everything 's going to be okay. Maybe all of this really has been a dream.

But I don't think so."

 **'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling**

My fingertips touching his skin had sent shock waves through me, and he'd felt them too. He caught hold of my hand and pulled it away. **And every time we kiss I swear I could fly**

The electricity that had crackled between us when I'd fought and held him down earlier returned, wrapping around us now.

 **Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last**  
 **Need you by my side**

"The love we'd shared always burned within me, no matter how often I told myself to move on, no matter how much the world did think I'd moved on. **"**

 **'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static**

 **And every time we kiss I reach for the sky**

This kiss was alive. It burned within my soul, and as my lips pressed more eagerly into his, I felt that connection, the one that told me there was no one else in the world for me except him.

 **Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go**

 **Want you in my life**

Dimitri:"You saved me."

Lissa: "I only did the final piece. The rest . . . well, Rose did, um, a lot."

'Say, like, organizing a prison break and releasing fugitives.'

 **Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky**

But this all seemed so real, and it felt so wonderful. I'd missed his arms around me.

 **They wipe away tears that I cry**

"I love you, Roza." He kissed me again. "I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

 **The good and the bad times we've been through them all**  
 **You make me rise when I fall**

With him, I could defeat this rage that filled me. He believed I was stronger than it. And I was.

Slowly, slowly, I felt that darkness fade away. I stopped fighting him. My body trembled, but it was no longer with fury. It was fear. Dimitri immediately recognized the change and released his hold.

 **'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling**

 **Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last**

 **Need you by my side**

Emotion filled my body again, but now it wasn't hate or rage or anything like that. It was warm and wonderful and made my heart ache - in a good way.'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static

 **And every time we kiss I reach for the sky**  
 **Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go**  
 **Want you in my life**

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling on the verge of tears. Lissa. I had to get to Lissa.

"This isn't real. You're gone. You and I can never be together, but I can still help her."

"You love her more than me?"

Lissa had asked me almost the same thing when I'd left to hunt Dimitri. My life was doomed to always be about choosing between them.

"I love you both," I replied.

"I love you both." I replied

 **Song: Every time we Touch by: Cascada**

 **Blood Promise**

 **Shadow Kiss**

 **and all of the quotes all belong to Richelle Mead**

 **Review:**


	7. How Can I not love you

**Disclaimer I don't own any of these mastmasterpieces refering to the song and the quote.**

 **Read and enjoy:)**

 **Cannot touch**

"Rose..." he began after several uncomfortable moments. "You need to report

what happened. With us."

 **Cannot hold**

"I can't do that. They'll fire you. Or worse."

 **Cannot be together**

"It doesn't matter. It was wrong. And stupid."

 **Cannot love**

"Rose, I'm seven years older than you. In ten years, that won't mean so much,

but for now, it's huge. I'm an adult. You're a child."

 **Cannot kiss**

"Even if you choose not to tell, you need to understand that it was a mistake.

And it isn't ever going to happen again," he added. **Cannot have each other**

"Because you're too old for me? Because it isn't responsible?"

 **Must be strong,**

His face was perfectly blank. "No. Because I'm just not interested in you in that

way."

 **And we must let go**

I stared. The message - the rejection - came through loud and clear. Everything

from that night, everything I'd believed so beautiful and full of meaning, turned

to dust before my eyes.

 **Cannot say**

"It only happened because of the spell. Do you understand?"

 **What our hearts must know**

Humiliated and angry, I refused to make a fool of myself by arguing or

begging. I just shrugged. "Yeah. Understood."

 **How can I not love you**

"The spell. Victor said you had to want me...to care about me...for it to work."

When he didn't say anything, I tried to grip his shirt, but my fingers were too

weak. "Did you? Did you want me?"

What do I tell my heart

"Yes, Roza. I did want you. I still do. I wish...we could be together."

 **When do I not want you**

"Then why did you lie to me?"

 **Here in my arms**

"Because we can't be together."

 **How does one waltz away**

" If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in

front of you."

 **From all the memories**

There was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that would make anyone

suspect what had passed between us - save for an occasional meeting of our

eyes.

 **How do I not miss you**

Dimitri might run off with Tasha, but I would still love him.

 **When you are gone**

I would probably always love him.

 **Cannot dream**

When Mason had come back for me, I realized, he'd let his feelings for me get

in the way. It was what Dimitri had always feared, that if he and I had any sort

of relationship, it would put us- and any Moroi we protected- in danger.

 **Cannot share**

"I couldn't return that...couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when..." He took

a few steps toward me. "Not when my heart is somewhere else.

 **Sweet and tender moments**

I knew it would be easy and that she could take me away from you. I thought

she could make me forget you."

 **Cannot feel**

"But she couldn't."

"Yes. And, so ... that's a problem."

 **How we feel** "Because it's wrong for us to be together."

"Yes."

 **Must pretend it's over**

"Because of the age difference."

"Yes."

 **Must be brave,**

"But more importantly because we're going to be Lissa's guardians and need

to focus on her- not each other."

"Yes."

 **And we must go on**

No, I told myself sternly. It's not real - not for you. Get out of there.

 **Must not say,**

It's not him. Get out.

The kisses were the same, exactly as I remembered with him. ...

 **What we've known all along**

No, it's not Dimitri. Get out!

Dimitri's name was like cold water hitting me in the face. I got out.

 **How can I not love you**

It had been a very long time since I'd been in that kind of situation. I ached

and felt warm all over.

 **What do I tell my heart**

but suddenly, desperately, I wanted someone to touch me - even just

to hold me

 **When do I not want you**

I stood up on shaky legs, feeling restless and ... well, sad. Sad and

empty.

 **Here in my arms**

"Are you sleepwalking?" a voice asked behind me.

I spun around, startled. Dimitri stood there watching me, looking both amused

and curious. It would figure that while I was raging over the problems in my

unfair love life, the source of those problems would be the one to find me.

 **How does one waltz away**

Freedom, I thought. That was the only gift I longed for. Freedom to make my

own choices. Freedom to love who I wanted.

 **From all the memories**

Dimitri had told me he loved me and had pretty much admitted he could never

be with anyone else because of that. Yet, it had also become clear that we still

couldn't be together either, and... pretending that our relationship was strictly

professional.

 **How do I not miss you**

all I noticed was Dimitri. Our gazes were locked.

 **When you are gone**

His eyes looked at me with pride - and a hell of a lot more

 **How can I not love you.**

my whole body yearned for him, again thinking he was a piece of me I needed

in order to be complete.

 **Must be brave,**

"You can," he said. There was a tremulous note in his voice. "You're strong -

you're so, so strong. It's why I love you."

 **And we must be strong**

He cupped my face in his hands. "You aren't. You won't," he said. "I won't let

you. No matter what, I won't let you."

 **Cannot say,**

At the same time, we both pulled back briefly, still oh so close. Everything in

the world rested on that moment.

"We can't..." he told me.

"I know," I agreed.

 **What we've known all along.**

"I love you, Roza." He kissed me again. "I'll always be here for you. I'm not

going to let anything happen to you."

The words were wonderful and dangerous

 **How can I not love you**

That was why I shouldn't have said what I said next - but I did anyway.

"And I won't let anything happen to you," I promised. "I love you."

 **What do I tell my heart** "You will lose what you value most,

 **When do I not want you**

so treasure it while you can.'"

 **Here in my arms**

My heart shattered. My world shattered.

 **How does one waltz away**

"If I became Strigoi...I'd want someone to kill me."

 **From all the memories**

"So would I," he said quietly. I could tell that he'd had the same flash of

realization I'd just had, that same sense of connection between us.

 **How do I not miss you**

My world, my heart ... they'd shattered when I lost him.

 **When you are gone**

"Does it get easier?" I asked.

How can I not love you.

"Yes. But you'll never be the same."

 **When you are you gone...**

"You love her more than me?"

Lissa had asked me almost the same thing when I'd left to hunt Dimitri. My life

was doomed to always be about choosing between them.

"I love you both," I replied.

 **Books: Vampire Academy, Frost Bite, Shadow Kiss, Blood Promise, and Last Sacrifice all belong to Richelle Mead**.

 **Song: How Can I Not Love You belongs to Joy** Eneiquez

 **Thank you for your patience**

 **Review:)**


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